Loss
by Shinderera
Summary: Frik remembers the Queen he once served and the woman he once loved.


Sometimes he longed for it. The mystical caves that glimmered and shimmered the rainbow. The irridescent light that wasn't at all bright and yet it made the whole place come alive. And the faeries...Oh the faeries! Darting to and fro. Always around...they truly made the land of magick..magickal. It had been home for him..all his life. He was a type of faery after all. A creature of magick.

And his queen..oh how he had loved his queen. He was her jester, the bumbling fool despite his vast knowledge and abilities in magick. She had always laughed at him, at his jokes, his clumsiness. He made her happy. And he adored the sound of her laugh, whispy and scratchy, yet so full of life and joy. And he wasn't only her jester. No. It wasn't as if she had never called for his advice and wisdom. She had. At one time she had always consulted him. He was her confidant, her adviser.

He had loved her and was willing to do anything and everything for her. And..at one time..she had loved him too. But his beautiful, loving queen had been overcome. When the new religion swept across the land colored in red and drove the followers of the old ways into the shadows..the woman he served, the woman he loved began to die.

And she continued dieing..a little bit more each day. One less follower, one less person that loved her..that much less love she had to give until the woman, the queen he knew was gone. And a wretched bitch took her place. As she became more and more unstable he grew afraid of her. And afriad for her. She was losing herself, and it killed him to watch it and not be able to do anything. Soon..she barely even spoke to him. He was no longer her confidant, her adviser, just a foolish jester.

And when the chance came for the old ways to maybe be restored, for his love to be restored. He took it. He did everything he could to help her. He trained Merlin as best as he could, taught him all he would need to know-all the wonder and magick and beauty of the world. And he threw it all away..and Mab died a little bit more. He watched as Mab became obsessed with bringing back the old ways and keeping herself alive. It became a matter of survival. A grim and brutal fight. And the wretch grew stronger, bearing the face of his love.

And then he gave up. Oh he still served her. He owed her that much. He had once loved her and she him after all. And also..she was still his queen and the land of magick his home. But it wasn't the same anymore, the happiness he once had was gone.

And then he met..Morgan Le Fey, who was so like him in so many ways. And so like the Mab, the way she was before. At least in personality. Morgan was not a pretty girl. No. And he was not a pretty faery (Once, that hadn't mattered to the beautiful queen he served). With Morgan..they were the same. Ugly people playing at pretty. Understanding that beauty was only an illusion. Mab was proof of that. No matter how beautiful she remained, inside..she grew more and more hidious.

But Morgan Le Fey! What fun she was! He would play with her when she was a little girl and he had fallen in love with her right then and there. She was beautiful. No..maybe not on the outside, not quite. But inside? She was a gem. She was not like other girls. She was..so much more real. She would've made a wonderful faery and they could've lived in the land of magick together.

But she was human. And..that didn't bother him. He watched her grow up, fell more in love with her. When he was with her, he did not long for his home. He easily made a new one with her.

And then..she..killed her. Mab..his queen, his once love and life...killed the only thing in his life that he cared about anymore. The only person he loved anymore and that loved him in return. Never quite his wife, but forever his soulmate. His dear, dear Morgan.

He never forgave Mab for that. And he turned his back on her..in a way..he turned his back on himself. She was after all..a part of him. She would always be a part of him. And so would Morgan. Morgan...he would never forget her. He could turn his back on Mab, on magick..on his home, his people...but not her. Not she who he had loved so and who loved him back.

Even when he was old and gray, living out life as only a magickal being in a less magickal world could, he would remember Mab, what she was..what she became. And a tear would slide down his withered cheek. And then he would think of Morgan Le Fey. The little ugly girl who just wanted to be loved. The woman so like the old Mab and so like himself..and so just Morgan. The woman he could've, would've spent the rest of his life with. And he would smile. And he would cry. And he would miss her and love her and never ever forget her. And soon..he would join her.


End file.
